Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
