My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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