Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
