the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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