You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize