But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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