Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
