Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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