I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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