My hand turned me down
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
