oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
