The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
