think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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