Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
