Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
