Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
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