went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sorry about my life...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
