I hate your face
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
