i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
