i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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