this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Drake has all the answers
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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