After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
