That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
