I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize