I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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