I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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