I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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