It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Do vagina's smell?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
