I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
