she was so not down for the gang bang
one might say we're banned from that church
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize