i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
