There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
