dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
