I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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