I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
