Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
