Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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