Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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