That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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