none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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