I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
