adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
