His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
