My sheets look like a crime scene.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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