you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
