I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
