Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
