Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
