You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
