Dude my mom stole all your condoms
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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