I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He kissed a someone with a penis
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
