wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
