How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
