so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
It's official drugs can't kill me
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
