I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
