Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
