Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
