Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
