but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Randomize
