i need an iv and a liver transplant
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I wish i was in the wii world.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
