i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
